Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
