you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
