where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
