in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
