come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
