His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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