He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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