found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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