I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
