So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You've changed since you got that strap on
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
