her vagine was all disorganized.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
