I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
