I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He literally asked permission to hit on me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
