Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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