whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
