Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
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I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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