So drunk its hurt
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
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He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
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We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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