I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
