And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
