What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize