Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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