mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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