i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
