Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize