I wannas sexs uuuuu
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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