Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
