What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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