Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
