Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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