After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
