This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize