we're blogging at a bar
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
