watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
