...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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