dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
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