Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
