Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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