You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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