she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
