just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize