They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
