im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
