I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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