I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
