i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
