Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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