no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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