dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
