Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
