Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
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