Do vagina's smell?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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