Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I wear drunk well.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
