Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
