Soap is not a condiment
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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