dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
