he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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